Lighten Up Meditation

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intent

Which self will you listen to?

Which self will you listen to?

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Have you ever had this experience?

Your alarm goes off in the morning and you groan, slap it silent, and roll back over?

It goes off again 15 minutes later and you do it again?

It goes off at least one more time until finally you heave yourself out of bed into awakeness?

Each time it goes off: I don’t want to wake up now.

Yet you’re the one who set the alarm the night before.

Or are you?

The person who programmed your phone alarm to go off at the ungodly hour of 6:15am seems not to be the person who is fast asleep in dreamland when that phone alarm starts to make noise the next morning. The person who set the alarm – rude person! – assumed way too much. That person thought that X amount of hours of sleep would be plenty, that you’d feel rested and fresh and ready to bound out of bed once the alarm actually rings.

That person is long gone by the time wee-dawn hours of morning roll around and you’re dead tired and cannot bear the idea of facing the day.

The one who gets so rudely awakened by the damn alarm is nowhere near the same person as the one who set the darn thing in the first place.

Which person are you?

In actuality, you’re neither, as you can recognize when you finally haul yourself out of bed and make it to the kitchen for coffee, and the shower. Once you’re awake, that log-tired “I won’t get up” person is long gone. That person is replaced by the “Oh SHIT I’m so godd-mn late now!” panicky person who is cursing like mad at the lazy bum who couldn’t get out of bed on time.

These are clearly separate people, amirite?

Because what sane person would not get up when that alarm first starts beeping, given all that you’re supposed to do today, and how long it takes you just to get out of the house?

I’m here to tell you that there is a Self who is telling you to WAKE UP. That Self may not be heard all that often, but it’s there, prodding you, cajoling you, waiting. That Self is always ready for you to make a move and act. That Self is the one with the good intentions – the best of intentions – who only wants you to succeed in your joy.

Which self will you listen to?

image credit: 6072518 Image retrieved from pixabay 2/23/19
This is what focus looks like.

This is what focus looks like.

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Yesterday legendary Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter announced that he’s retiring at the end of the upcoming season.

Here’s the note that he posted on Facebook:
jeternote1


Here’s a video about him:

There’s so much I could comment on. Let’s start with this:

“From the time I was a kid, my dream was very vivid and it never changed: I was going to be the shortstop for the NY Yankees.”

Some might think that it’s easy to write such a sentence retroactively, after the dream has been realized. But it takes that type of reality – that the “dream” is vivid and unchanging – to make the biggest goals possible. It’s not that it was Derek Jeter’s fate to become the Yankees shortstop; it was his single-minded determination and his BELIEF that he would do so, that created that reality. You can feel the force of his intent coming through in that sentence.

Here’s an example of that focus in action:

And again:

Did you see him running for it? Compared to Brosius (Yankees #18) who seemed barely engaged by comparison. Jeter just gave it everything.

Next, from the first video, we get Reggie Jackson saying this:

“Derek really hasn’t made very many mistakes with the media. I don’t know of any. He’s been honest, he’s been forthright, he’s basically done it a lot better than I have. He’s been very consistent in how he’s handled himself.”

He put the team first. Anyone who does that wouldn’t make silly (selfish) mistakes like running his mouth off at the media. He clearly felt that it was a privilege to wear that uniform, and he would do nothing to jeopardize it.

And finally, just this: Humility.

I want to start by saying thank you.

And he ends with,

Once again, thank you.

This man has my respect. He put in the work. He helped others be better than they could be on their own. He became great at what he does. And he did it all with integrity.

Any one of us can do the same, regardless of our circumstances, or what our lives are like, or the nature of our work. You have an opportunity to be great. Be that. It’s what makes life worth living.

Pay attention to where you put your energy.

Pay attention to where you put your energy.

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When I first got the idea to organize a Thanksgiving morning volunteer activity for my students and guests of meditation, I looked around and found an organization to volunteer with. We’ll be delivering Thanksgiving meals to people who are homebound in San Francisco.

Unbeknownst to me, the organization I initially selected is not the most open-minded in the world. Specifically, I had found this volunteer opportunity with the Salvation Army – but I didn’t know that based on their misguided interpretation of the scriptures, they have integrated a homophobic outlook into the depths of their organization. They don’t deny services to gays and lesbians, but their attitude is that it is against the Bible to be homosexual and if that’s your orientation then you should commit to a lifetime of celibacy as the correct response.

Say wha’??

When I was informed about their attitude I was at first a little torn. After all, driving around to deliver meals for a couple hours isn’t exactly promoting this anti-gay agenda. Instead, wouldn’t we be helping a bunch of people through our actions? Why does it matter if the umbrella organization that hosts the service event is wrongheaded on such a basic issue?

It matters because we would be lending our energy to the organization through our participation. No, we weren’t going to be donating a bunch of money; it’s not like we would be literally “supporting” them. But we would be tacitly condoning their stance and position in the world, by driving around with a bunch of bags that say “Salvation Army” on them. We would be lending our power – admittedly in a tiny way, but we would be doing that nonetheless.

Every decision you make and every action you take is an opportunity to be on the right side of Truth. It was pretty easy to find another organization doing something similar on Thanksgiving – Meals on Wheels – and we’ll be working with them instead.

Whenever you join forces with another person, group, or mindset, you are empowering it with your intent – and if you meditate, then you’re building more and more power (and Intent!). “With great power comes great responsibility” right? This comes down to all decisions you make, large and small. It may have been more convenient to just go along with my original plans to volunteer with the first org, but it would not have felt right to do so.

Getting started – and keeping going – with meditation.

Getting started – and keeping going – with meditation.

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Maybe you’ve started meditating and you do it here and there, but you haven’t had great success with doing it every day. Here’s a little trick that might help you make meditation into a more regular thing.

Every time you meditate, make a commitment to yourself at the end of the meditation that you’ll do it again.

Even better, tell yourself exactly when and where you’ll do it.

Visualize yourself sitting down to do it again the next day.

This can take just a moment, it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

What you’re doing is locking in your intent. After you’re done meditating, you’ll be cleared out and open. Your power is up. Use that opportunity to reinforce for you what’s important.

If you want to make meditation a bigger priority in your life, leverage the moment right after you’ve done so to help yourself do it again.

Just make sure you don’t waste the time that you’re supposed to be actually meditating by thinking about the next time you’ll meditate!! Wait till the end when you’ve formally finished the meditation, and then, before getting up from your seat, take a moment to reaffirm your practice for the next day.

Then, as you move through your day, if the thought of meditation comes into your mind, actively redirect it to an affirmation for the next time you’ll meditate. “I’ll meditate for 15 minutes on Wednesday morning before work.”  Something simple, and specific. Don’t dwell on it. Seal in the intent and move on.

Then do it again tomorrow.

The hardest part about meditation is getting started.

The hardest part about meditation is getting started.

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Meditation is not hard. It’s sitting down to be with yourself. There’s lots of different methods and practices – if you’re in the Bay Area, then you can check out one of our Intro to Meditation classes to learn a specific fun way to do it. The hardest part about becoming someone who meditates every day is the beginning.

Getting started with a regular practice of meditation is easy if you let it be – or it’s the place where you’ll go off the rails before you even begin

Many people wander into a meditation class and walk out inspired… and then don’t take action to make meditation happen in their lives. If you find yourself interested in topics of meditation and spirituality, then that’s the critical first ingredient, but you need to take action to MAKE YOURSELF a spiritual being.

Sure, all of us are spiritual, but how much you embrace that side of your being – versus letting the thick human aspects govern – will dictate how quickly you evolve.

Getting started with a daily practice of meditation means you have to get started.

I realize that this is circular and less than useful. 🙂 What I mean is that you need to make it a priority.

It takes three weeks to start any new habit. If you’re interested in starting a practice of meditation, then commit to yourself, here and now, that you’re going to do it. Decide to do it and you’re more than halfway there.

This is called “setting your intent” and it’s a critical part that many people overlook. Being inspired often doesn’t carry us far. The next state of mind rolls in and we forget how important the thing is; it gets overwritten by the next drama or life crisis.

If you go to a meditation class or experience a teaching or are otherwise blessed by exposure to the dharma, and meditation isn’t a regular part of your life, then take advantage of the luminosity that has touched you and take action on it. DECIDE that you will meditate — not for the rest of your life, but simply TOMORROW. While you’re still in a state of excitement around whatever truth you’ve experienced, look at your schedule for the following day and figure out when you’ll be able to fit in the meditation. Can you carve out some time in the morning? Make a plan. Set the alarm on your cell phone right now for what time you’ll need to get up.

By taking action in the immediate term you can begin to create the groove in your life that will help carry you further.

 

How to set your intent.

How to set your intent.

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If you didn’t see the beginning of this series you may want to start there: Part I: Why resolutions don’t work.

Now that January is almost over, let’s revisit. Did you have some successes in the past few weeks? Good! Be sure to celebrate them. And if your first month of 2013 hasn’t been as productive or results-filled as you had wanted, then don’t worry – you can start NOW. And again NOW. And NOW. You have a new opportunity every moment, and definitely every day, to do it again. Isn’t Eternity grand?

You need three things to actually make a change in your life:

  • You need to make a decision – a stake in the ground – taking responsibility for the fact that this is actually in your control and you’re the one who can do it.
  • You need personal power to re-make that decision again in the future – you’ll need to be able to tap into your own inner strength when you’re challenged and feeling weak
  • You need to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself when you falter – and then you need more personal power to make the decision again

Of all those, the first one – the decision – is most important. That’s why resolutions don’t work; they are just ideas, they are not commitments. This often needs to come through some difficult self-reflection. In order to change your behavior, you need the insight into why you’re behaving in a certain way, so that you can pop that delusion. To make a resolution is just window-dressing; it’s not getting to the root cause. To make a DECISION has weight. That’s where you’ll see real results come. But that requires a level of honesty and inner truth-seeking that many of us find difficult.

In order to be honest with yourself, you need clarity. In order to have the strength to make a decision, you need pwersonl power.

The best way to get both?

MEDITATION.

Meditation helps you find the clarity and strength to a) make the good decisions in the first place – you can fight the good fight when you have yourself backing you up; and b) keep moving forward on the path you know to be right even when it’s not easy, when there are twists and turns and it’s uphill both ways.

It’s actually really really simple to make changes in life – they all come from within, and the only thing that’s required is to decide to change.

Today is a great opportunity for you to put this in practice.

Spend some time meditating and you’ll gain the clarity and power and wisdom to help make these decisions. That’s where real change – and real peace – comes from. Take some time to meditate and you’ll be setting yourself up for success in all that you do.

And good luck with your 2013!! It’s going to be a glorious year – all 11 months that are left of it! Make the most of this time!

Resolutions are like wishful thinking.

Resolutions are like wishful thinking.

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We started on this topic of New Year’s Resolutions a little while ago and since January is coming to an end, it’s a great time to revisit it.

The problem with resolutions is that they’re often expressed more like wishful thinking – and they often come from a place of guilt or poor self-image. We feel fat, and we know we should lose weight, so we resolve to try another diet. We feel life passing us by, and so we resolve to try and make the most of each day. These are just ideas. They may also be ideals that we hold for ourselves – that we should be more noble in how we honor each moment, and we should be stronger and resist the candy dish at the office.

But have you ever noticed this weird phenomenon? That the person making the resolution is not the same person who is inhabiting your body when the alarm clock goes off and you slap it quiet for another 10 minutes of sleep – instead of getting up and going for a run. The person who resolved to “be a better person” is not the same one who’s cut off in traffic and flips the bird at the other driver. We can have good intentions, and still have a helluva time making real change happen. Part of this is because you are in one state of mind – a happy, contented, optimistic state of mind – when you make the resolutions. But when you then move out into the world, into a crazy day and a stressful life, then you’re in another state of mind – a reactive, defensive, low-energy or cornered place, where you often cannot even access any of the feelings you felt before.

This of course is one way that meditation can help. When you have a regular practice of meditation, it builds up your inner reserves and gives you a lasting foundation of equanimity. You have more balance. You don’t get rattled so easily. You’re able to stay in that optimistic, peaceful place even when you’re out in the world.

We have a little more to say on the value of INTENT over INTENTIONS, which we’ll offer up to you soon. Stay tuned!