change

This is a follow-up to the recent post about a mentality of “saving” that isn’t as positive as it sounds. If you missed it, you may want to read that original post before continuing on. That’s where I talked about the tendency that some people have to collect things. Small things. Product samples and matchbooks and safety pins that may come in handy some day.

I’m not saying you need to get rid of all your trial size products. What you might want to do is go through them. See which ones are expired, or dried up (that’s what often happens when you hang onto your prized sample too long, it goes belly-up on you, either by leaking out of its container or just becoming completely dessicated – so much for that stash). Take an inventory. How many travel sized tubes of toothpaste do you really need?

In fact, do you have a junk drawer at all?

Here’s a radical suggestion: Just take that junk drawer and dump it. Throw it all away. Don’t even sort through it; just open it up and up-end it into the trash.

If you can’t stomach that thought (sign of some of the issues identified above) then at a minimum, go through everything in that drawer and make an honest, objective assessment of it. Do you really need that stub of a candle that you’ve had for 15 years? If you’re worried about what will happen if the power goes out, then put together an emergency kit – yes this is a smart thing to have around – and make sure it’s got fresh batteries and a flashlight. Look at everything in that junk drawer as if it were someone else’s (yes this is hard to do but so very effective). What if it was an elderly relative’s horde? It would be much easier for you to just toss so many of those items, because it would be easier for you to perceive their lack of value. Use that perspective, and see what you truly don’t need. And toss it.

There’s a trick to this of course: If you have even one thought of “Yes I can throw this away” then you must honor that, and act on it IMMEDIATELY. If you are someone with these types of mental patterns, then it’s not going to be easy to take these actions, and undoubtedly you will second-guess yourself and be tugged in the other direction (“But wait, I might need this…”). That’s how attachments work. You must act in the first impulse of getting rid of it, or it becomes much harder and you likely won’t follow through.

Once you’ve thrown away the true junk, then spend some time organizing the drawer. Don’t let it ever become a “junk drawer” again. Everything in there should be kept for a reason, with a purpose.

Getting rid of clutter that you’ve accumulated can be extremely freeing. The things in your life are what hold you down; they are outward representations of certain obstacles in your mind. The more you indulge in hoarder tendencies, the more you’re reinforcing an attitude of fear, on the inside. Hoarding is actively manifesting that fear into your life, by accumulating stuff.

And look at it this way: Americans definitely have too much stuff. Create space in your little corner of the world, and increase the space (the positive kind!) in your mind, by cleaning out your junk drawer.

Do it now. 🙂

Do you have a drawer in the kitchen with miscellaneous odds and ends? Things like matchbooks, extra shoelaces, nails and screws? Maybe even some expired coupons? Many people call this a “junk drawer” and the name says it all. It’s full of stuff that you definitely don’t need today, but perhaps some day in the future you will.

At least, that’s the prevailing idea.

Another possibility (more likely if you’re a chick) is that you have a stash of samples, like of cosmetics and face creams. Maybe you’ve got a bunch of travel size packs of toothpaste, collected for the next time you travel. Or every time you go to the gym, you pick up another one of those small bags of Q-tips, and you’ve managed to accumulate quite a lot of them. You know that one day, those will come in handy. It certainly sucks to be in need of a Q-tip and not have one at hand. You’re covered for when that time comes.

The problem with all of this – besides the fact that some of these behaviors might borderline on the extreme of hoarding – is that it is all symptomatic of a not-enough mentality. Meaning, you’re living in a mindset of scarcity. You don’t believe you will be provided for.

I’m not talking about being irresponsible, and not taking steps to have the things that you need on hand. If you regularly run out of toilet paper in the house, well, that’s a different problem.

But someone who is constantly stashing things away “just in case” is showing indications of some potential issues that may be obstacles on the spiritual path:

• acquiring more than she needs; the consumerist mentality – this is symptomatic of being very hooked into the world (Maya)
• attachments – the Buddha said that dropping attachments is the way to liberation (simplified)
• not living in the moment, projecting too much into the future, and not trusting the Universe to take care of your needs when they arise

These tendencies all seem innocuous enough, but they are antithetical to the free mind. If you examine the logical extreme of these habits, you end up with the person featured on one of those awful Hoarders TV shows. Yes, these behaviors are the origins of an end-state like that. The ones I’m describing today are socially acceptable, and they may offer some odd sense of comfort. If you know you’ve got these things tucked away in closets and drawers, well, you can feel more secure that you’ll be prepared when you need it. For most people who do this though, that’s a complete illusion. The time when you think you’ll “need it” never comes, and the stuff just piles on.

Here’s a novel idea: Whenever you buy something, before you put it in your basket at Target, stop and ask yourself if it’s really truly needed. It’s so easy to come home with crap in the shopping bag that we didn’t intend to buy. Before picking up yet another lip gloss or nail polish, check yourself. Are these things that you will actually be using in the near term? Just because some product offers a “Gift with Purchase” doesn’t mean that you need it. A bargain is not a bargain if it weighs you down and creates baggage. Go through the store with the mentality that you’re going to be moving next week; only buy the stuff that you need NOW, and skip the things that you’d just be packing up into boxes, unopened and unused.

At least, that can be a first step to living light. Check back to this blog in the next few days for some more radical ideas on this topic.

So many people spend lifetimes in denial.

I don’t mean being in denial that you’re an alcoholic or something – though there’s plenty of that.

Mostly I mean being in denial that you have a choice. Giving away your own power. Being unwilling to change is denial in its highest art form.

The hardest – and simplest – part of dealing with any existential crisis or big life dilemma is simply to decide to change.

Whatever you’re grappling with, whatever knot you’re trying to untie in your life – should I stay in this relationship? should I get a new job? should I go back to school? – once you stop shirking the question and decide to face up to the fact that LIFE IS ABOUT CHANGE, well, it all becomes so easy.

The Universe is poised and ready to show you the way.

The answers will come readily – they will be right in front of your face.

This is true on even a very small scale. Say you’re faced with a daunting new project at work. Or you’re struggling with a subject that you just can’t “get” at school. Something outside your comfort zone. Something requiring you to be brave.

It’s so easy to just turn your back on it and skate. The seemingly painless solution is to ignore it; to not grapple with the problem; to go into hiding.

That denial thing.

The reason I say “seemingly painless” is because whenever we do this, we are only perpetuating the pain. Putting it off till later – which in effect actually extends it. If you have avoided doing your taxes until midnight on April 14th, it’s not going to get any better when you are finally forced to do them on April 15th – in fact, you will have been dealing with your tax prep agony for even longer based on that delay tactic. Avoiding pain will perpetuate it.

And, you’ve probably had the experience many times before: Once you sit down to do it, the whatever-it-is that you’re unwilling to do, it’s not that bad. It sometimes surprises you and even becomes enjoyable. Certainly the FINISHING of it is – but even the STARTING of it can be oh so sweet. The relief of finally facing up to something.

Of finally being WILLING.

And the thing is, once you have the WILLINGNESS, then it all will fall into place. The worst kind of resistance is internal. Sure there’s opposition – it’s a real thing when you’re trying to accomplish something big – but for most of us, the biggest obstacles are self-created.

With willingness, you are signalling surrender to Eternity. You’re going along with her plan for you. And she will respond in kind. Always.

That project you were intimidated by? That subject in school that you just couldn’t penetrate? Suddenly you’ll start to get answers – in the oddest places.

Driving down the road, you see a billboard for some new invention or technology or seminar that is EXACTLY what you need to learn.

Randomly browsing on the Internet, you stumble on the perfect article that offers the just-right insight that unlocks the puzzle you’ve been so painfully stumped on.

Sitting on the subway, you overhear a conversation where a complete stranger mentions the exact situation you’re grappling with – and talks about how she solved it.

These things will come to you.

All you need is to get started.

And all you need for that is a tiny smidgeon of willingness.